Seeds
Brooke Fraser

Night
Field of stars above us
You pick one
We frame it with our fingers intertwined

Seeds of every generation
Between our hands
And the promise to teach you
The little I have learned
So far

Child
What will you live to do?
What have I left for you?
What will we leave behind?

You
Learning as you’re growing
Not yet knowing
The world isn’t always
Quite as beautiful
As it is now

Child
What will you live to do?
What have I left for you?
What will we leave behind?

Night
Field of stars above us
I pick one and name it for you
And all who are to come

I’ve been listening to Brooke Fraser‘s (album) Albertine for some time now and this song is one that really struck a deep chord with me (no, she is not paying me to promote her album, but I am a HUGE fan). Mother’s and Father’s Days have both come and gone and got me contemplating on the words of the song – what kind of person will my Little Miss grow up to be? What life lessons will I be imparting to her as she grows up and navigates her way through the world?

I never thought about how motherhood would be such a daunting task. My mom certainly did it so effortlessly, or so it may have seemed to us when we were young. After giving birth via emergency c-section, we had to stay with my family for a week. And so when we were saying our goodbyes as it was time to go home with my newborn, the weight of responsibility hit me with such force all so suddenly it left me feeling literally breathless, my head reeling! I cried. (Now you know why, Mom.) I read all those books on parenting while pregnant. Friends and family gave me tons of advice, left and right. I thought I was ready. I thought I was prepared. Well, nothing quite prepared me for the moment when my Little Miss looked up at me with those wide, innocent, seemingly wise eyes as if to ask, “What now, Mum?” It was just me and her (and of course our Man) and I looked back at her, realizing that I didn’t know what I was doing. I guess no parent ever really does.

Consequently, I find myself praying everyday for God to constantly guide us and give us wisdom as we raise our daughter. Because certainly, left to our own devices, we will mess this kid up so bad and God knows the world doesn’t need any more messed up kids, who will turn into messed up adults. I pray that she will learn from our example and grow up entrusting her whole life to God, living for His glory and touching the lives of everyone around her in a positive, loving way. Much like the way she has already touched ours.

So while my mother-in-law has said that our Little Miss will grow up to be a famous model or an actress, and I have mused that it would be awesome if she grew up to be a nurse or a doctor, or even a rocket scientist (hey, one can hope!), we hold fast to God’s plans for her future. Our dreams for her are grand, but His are best after all. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:111

Let me know your thoughts: What dreams do you have for your children? What scared you the most about parenting in the beginning?