The decision to quit my job to take care of the Little Miss came quite easily for me. It surprised me, but when it actually came to it, I was ready to jump right in. Headlong. I knew from the moment I had her that I was meant to spend the first few months – even years of her life – caring for her and devoting my time to her. It’s different for everyone, but that was it for me. Our finances took quite a blow, but My Man and I decided that tightening our belts was the best way to go since we couldn’t and didn’t really want to entrust her care to anyone else just yet.
I never regretted that decision
except for the first few months when I was at my wit’s end after being so sleep deprived and having little adult interaction and actually adjusted to motherhood. Some days are so glorious – I feel, no, I know that I am actually doing it right. Others, I want to pull my hair out/scream into a pillow and need more than 24 hours to get some sleep everything done. A veritable roller-coaster ride.
My Man and I re-evaluated our decision to have me take care of the Little Miss full-time when 7 months later, an application for a nanny came to us by way of a family friend. I felt a fluttering in my stomach. I was excited at the prospect of working again, yet, could I really trust this person to take good care of my daughter? My Man reasoned that I could start by looking for another job that would allow me to stay home –that way I could still keep an eye on the Little Miss.
The nanny came. And the 4 days she spent with us was nightmarish, to say the least. I rescinded all the applications I had sent out and we were back to square one. I wasn’t completely devastated –I guess not building up expectations of the experiment had its rewards.
I got the urge to go into blogging (and going public) not long after that, if only to have an outlet for expressing myself. And it was, and is a gift. I had rekindled my love affair with words! I still find it frightening, putting myself out there, but I have stepped out of my comfort zone and there is no going back. I met and made friends with a lot of incredible people – that would never have happened had I not taken the plunge so I wouldn’t want to go back anyway.
And then, just last week a fantastic opportunity presented itself – quite unexpectedly too. I won’t go into the details, and this is quite possibly the only time I will talk about it
because the interwebs makes the world a very small place.
I landed a part-time gig that will allow me to write!
It’s not for a glamorous magazine, or a very illustrious website, but it is a start. Of something that I just recently realized I love doing. I have only ever written for myself, it’s another thing to have to write and pass scrutiny altogether.
It’s a God-send.
I am ready.
And I am jumping right in. Headlong.