I received a text message from my Mom 3 nights ago that got me thinking. In her message she said: “Cy, you write so beautifully! I thank God for you – especially since you choose to see the good side of what we have/had and dwell on the positive life experiences. You make my heart swell with pride. I thank God because you confirm that God has blessed me with wisdom on how to raise my children. I love you.”
First of all, I know for a fact that my mom loves all her children equally. Her expression of gratitude for my seeing our family life in a positive light now is because she knows I have come a long way from the hard-headed, rage-filled, confused woman I was in my late teens to early 20s. I remember feeling much like a loaded gun, ready to go off at the slightest provocation – and a couple of times, I actually did.
From the message my mom sent me though, I realized that some of my readers, especially those who don’t know me ‘in real life’, might have been misled by my ramblings. Or at the very least think that I permanently have rose-colored glasses on.
Our family’s days have not been all sunshine, rainbows and puppies. Out of respect for them, I cannot discuss the events of the past; suffice it to say that our journey has been very rocky. But over the years as I have grown in my faith, I learned that God does not wish for me to live all the while holding onto feelings of resentment. I learned to forgive because I have been forgiven.
Isaiah 43:25 of The Message translation reads: “But I, yes I, am the one who takes care of your sins—that’s what I do. I don’t keep a list of your sins.”
I do not deny any of the unpleasant events and the difficulties we have had to endure as a result of them. They are there to remind us that we need His grace all the more. They are there to remind us that we have since overcome most of our trials as a family thus far, with God’s wisdom and guidance. They are there to remind us of His unfailing love.
They are there to remind us that we have a lot to be thankful for in our very imperfect life. And that is what I am – thankful.
Every single day.
The following quote based on Romans 8:31-39 best sums up what I want to say.
“Life will at times be difficult, often it is painful, and for now it is imperfect. But still it is good, for in all these things nothing can separate us from God’s lavish expressions of love.” – Julie Ackerman
Yes, it IS good.
Our large family pre-Little Miss from left to right: My brother-in-law B, holding their daughter S, my sister C, me, my brother J, my mom, my dad, my sister CJ, my sister J, my brother D and My Man. Whew!