Today’s topic is centered on the different ways that we look at our spouses. The book illustrates them as two rooms in our hearts – the Appreciation Room and the Depreciation Room.
On the walls of the first room are written all the good qualities our spouses have – and we wrote many of these qualities before we married them. Sadly, after marriage, we discover another room in our hearts. On the walls of this second room are written all the things we find in our spouses that irritate us, frustrate us, disappoint or hurt us.
The book challenges us to move out of the Depreciation Room – to stop dwelling on the negative things we dislike in our spouses, and instead, take up permanent residence in the Appreciation Room – if we are to truly love our husbands/wives.
The authors explain that love isn’t denying the existence of the negative, but that it chooses not to live there. “Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt. It refuses to fill in the unknowns with negative assumptions. And when our worst hopes are proven to be true, love makes every effort to deal with them and move forward. As much as possible, love focuses on the positive.”
Not the easiest thing to do, right? We are but humans, after all.
We are prone to seeing other people in the most unfavorable light as possible, judging harshly, all the while seeming to overlook our own weaknesses, shortcomings and offenses.
The dare: For today’s dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.
This post is linked to Simply Complicated… That’s Just Me…