The book defines rudeness as “unnecessarily saying or doing things that are unpleasant for another person to be around.” Examples of this were given in a marriage setting – foul mouth, poor table manners, or a habit of making sarcastic quips. “No one likes to be around a rude person.” It makes it difficult for people who live with a rude person to even be in the same room with them.
According to the book, there are two main reasons why people are rude – they are ignorant and selfish. “You know the rules, but you can be blind to how you break them or be too self-centered to care.” I am asked to test myself with these questions:
– How does your spouse feel about the way you speak and act around them?
– How does your behavior affect your mate’s sense of worth and self-esteem?
– Would your husband or wife say you’re a blessing, or that you’re condescending and embarrassing?
“The bottom line is that love minds its manners.” It shows that you value your partner enough to pay attention to what makes being with you pleasurable for him or her. Three guiding principles were given when practicing etiquette in marriage:
1. Guard the Golden Rule. Treat your mate the same way you want to be treated (see Luke 6:31). – As with everything in this book so far, it is easier said than done sometimes. This requires a practice in patience, humility and selflessness. I need to learn to stop and think about how I would want to be treated instead of reacting to situations and letting loose words and actions that would only make things worse.
2. No double standards. Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers. – Stacy is spot-on when she asks herself: “I do this all the time at work, why can’t I do it at home?”
3. Honor requests. Consider what your husband or wife already asked you to do or not to do. If in doubt, then ask.
The dare: Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.
This post is linked to Simply Complicated… That’s Just Me…